Chapter Thirty Six :Love and morphine

I've been out of the hospital for almost a week now. Im still not able to lift any thing over 5lbs by order of the doctor but i can do most everything else. Im home bound for the while but soon enough life will return to something like it used to be. But i will never be the same. Whatever god or force that saved us that night has a plan. And I beg to know what that is. Its amazing how when you come so close to dying even those you were distanced from the ones that truely care come back to your aid in a heart beat. Before that fateful night i was almost certain Austen and I were a thing of the past. But the moment i started to doubt my chances of making it i asked for him out of instinct. After my mom and family had arrived he was the first person i wanted there. Much to my surprise he wanted to be there to. Maybe it was the morphine talking maybe it was the mindset that i might easily slip into deaths cold embrace at any moment. But i confessed i loved him. After two days of non stop visitation he had to leave. And ive missed him every moment since. I cant go a day without talking to him via text message or i feel an emptyness. I dont know how it happened but i care about him as i have for only one other person in the past before. Brian. I feel it stronger than with anyone else ive been with since, even David zich, i thought i was in love with David , as it turns out i was just very well played as he intended. But Austen doesnt play games ( outside of the bedroom), my mom doesnt like him very much because were not exclusive but something tells me thats only a matter of time. For whatever reason we keep falling back together, initially what started as a one night stand ended up becoming something ....real. Were highly compatible ( were both pisces) we have so much in common and yet so much to learn from each other. Its odd how someone thats so not my usual type has become someone that i cant stop thinking about no matter how hard i try. I think it may e that ive found someone that i need to stay with for a while. And yet another thing thats pulling me away from north carolina. I talked to Brittany about it today, she only remembers the way we were before the accident, she told me to e cautious, as he didnt want a relationship with me before. But now it feels as if something has changed, i think hes realized that we both have a lot to offer each other and i think he knows now that im true to who i am, and i would only do right by him. And whatever scars he carries from past relationships i can help mend. But that i am worthy of letting in, and wont hurt him like so many others have hurt him because i know what its like. But for now im fine with undefined. One day god willing it will be more.