i thought something good was coming, i thought it was gonna be great i thought, heres my fairy tale
FUCK NO, it was going good until i got dumped then got recycled and then dumped again, never again, i think im supposed to have the life of a whore or else i would have at least had a long term relationship by now, im not asking for marriage here but for someone to have interest in me for at least a month is that so damn hard, i just dont know why i try anymore, i could have done so much better but no i thought personality must be underneath but turns out the personality underneath was a douchebag, ive been unemployed, for about six months now, i am going crazy ive been writing a lot, and planning life, but i keep ending up to this place where theres no way out and i feel as though im going to be in this state for a while, first im broke now im such a free loader because im 18 and have no job, although the economy is bad im supposed to have jobs even though there arent any im supposed to have about twelve, because im apparantly god and can make something out of nothing, im glad to find that out instead of a pond out back im going to have a big ass hole full of wine now, when i figure out how that trick works it seems like everything is somehow my fault and i dont know how it got this way, but i keep trying, i spent the entire trip to carowinds with my family hating the world , i think its myself i hate a little bit more because i know that most of what they say has some bearing of truth , and i despise myself for it
