Chapter Thirty Two: Bearing the cross

Life is complex sometimes you wonder if its worth it. Theres a lot of debate as to who carries this big gay diverse community. Though its not particularly easy for any of us its broken down quite simply by what straight men (who incidentally are the ones who make most of the laws in our country or the world in general). The ones most appealing are the lipstick lesbians, who unequivocably are reveered as something that is erotically stimulating to straight males. Then there are transgender male to femal or even female to male individuals that are accepted with a metaphorically quivering handshake. This is perhaps based on the ideology that you may have been a man or woman before but you look hot now that your in the right body for your mind, ill overlook what i wish i didnt know and be sure to burn the baby pictures so i can sleep with you. Next on the higherarchy is the butch lesbian, they are overtly gay and not in an attractive "let me watch you" way, but still not entirely vile to the opposing community. This is perhaps due to the fact that they are one of the boys they can kick back drink beer and chase women and work on cars and compare sports bracketts. Not completely adored but not entirely reviled. Then theres the fence player, hated, loved, respected and feared. The bisexual be it male or woman, the woman is hot to the oposite community because theres the possibility of a threesome or at least the fantasy, and that plausibility makes it arousing. The bisexual man serves another more important but highly corrupt purpose. They bear the banner of hope, that maybe just maybe a gay man can be converted through jesus , through strip clubs or some other ridiculous means to enjoy vagina. This is not so, another reason they are wearily accepted into any community and viewed as a traitor to either cause is, very very very rarely , im talking sightings of lochness monster rare, is there a truely 50/50 bisexual, and at that lots of gay men come out first as "bisexual" because of the concept of distant hope. This brings us to the masculine or straight acting Gay man, a man who is often in danger or in other words down right closeted, while i dont endorse embracing cliches or being a stereotype just for the sake of being a stereotype we must address that most so called "masculine gay men" are to some extent posing, after all you dont look so straight with my cock in your mouth now do you as the old joke goes. The gay man that is allowed to play sports and takes a beard to prom but puts on their trench coat and wanders into the gay bar on sunday nights when theyre supposed to be in choir practice. Im not saying that its bad to be masculine but to swear off anything that may make people know your gay or may bring attention to you or possibly cause you to be denied entry in the republican party is just simply being closeted and denying your true nature. Last but not least this brings us to the last subgroup which is sectioned off in many different ways but all such divisions are all first and foremost part of the greater label that is "the effeminate gay guy". Girls love them they are the newest fashion statement, they are well dressed brave and brash. Youve seen them on television and in film. the sissy, the twink, the showtune singing ones. the make up wearing ones. the lisped talkers. the drag wearers. The guys that are tormented in highschool, the guys that are the voice and image of our community. negative or positive we feminine gays have brought us to the now. And we did it all while designing the fall line, and writing poems and of course snatching up the lead roles. We get the hate we get the jokes, we get the names we arent allowed to bring our boyfriends to dances, we arent allowed to play soccer with the rest of the boys. We are the ones who brought class to the community. We are the strongest players in the community, because we represent what is most taboo. Open advertisement. the worst part is they all have a special brand of hate for us, but we cant help it we wont hide it, we are who we are and we arent afraid of it, we sing our highest notes, and we dance like its the last moment well get to do it. We are the unashamed. We are the ultimate outcast because we represent something that is honestly genderless. Our sex is male, our prefference is the same, but our gender is somewhere in the grey area. we arent female or male like a transgender, we arent a guy with a guys mind who happens to like other guys. but we arent women either. we like to use what nature granted us between our legs, we like to party like everyone else, we represent what is in fact the most inclusive of all genres. the melting pot of diversity. What sad is we feel the most pain because we are the label. we wear our personality for everyone to notice and judge without a word being said. We face the brutality ahead from the unaccepting and we overcome the most obstacles because we are the most repulsive to the opposite community. We do all this, and even within the community we are looked down on, weve carried the cross and brought us all to a world where equality is within our grasps and they didnt even say thank you... Im proud to be who i am , and im unashamed to say "your welcome"